Things that are good:

• Hot chocolates with Zhi Hui
• Lana Del Rey on repeat
• Frosty walks to school
• Miranda Kerr
• Being up to date in literature and PE
• Lebanese food with Legolas and my favourite year 11s
• Eating crackers while watching 'Offspring'
• People who are the perfect balance of 'fun' and empathetic
• Sweden
• Long term goals that aren't stressful

A letter to an old lover.

 Hey you,

It would be really nice to talk to you right now. You've missed a whole bunch of things. And I guess I've missed some of your stuff too. I have so many questions.

I miss someone demanding to know what's wrong when I forget to put x's at the end of texts, someone willing to listen and extract the sense from my rambling mind. I miss waking up next to you. My pillow is a poor substitute for someone who can hug back.

It might seem childish but I want you to look after me. I want you to make sure I'm okay (because I'm not). I want you to be there when I cry or feel like crying. Because I was there for you, I stood on the edge of buildings and in the middle of hurricanes. I didn't leave when things got hard. 

I'll admit it, I'm a bitch. I hate that you are having a good time. On two levels. One, because it hurts and I want to be with you when you are happy. I want to be around you when you laugh and see the look on your parent's face when you talk about something you love. And two, because I want you to support me when I am sad. I want someone to be happy for as well as someone to be sad with. Maybe I wouldn't be this sad if I still had you. Who knows? Maybe I ask for too much.

All I know is that you're bloody hard to get over. And yes, I'm a dates person. So of course I remember what happened 6 months ago. I put bandaids on my heart and cried hysterically for an hour. Then I spooned you and tried to make the rest of the world go away (the mantra: we are here, we are safe, you are next to me, you love me, I love you, everything will be okay). We often joked that we were each others "cures" and although it might not have been a good long term solution, boy did you fix my symptoms.

To do list from February: 

• Write your love letter
• Pack school bag
• Cover books
• Get new credit
• Buy pen for diary
• Watch Legally Blonde
• FB Clarice Bean + Da Wei
• Call Zhi Hui

I should have written more love letters because now I have no one to send them to. 

Loving you, Erimentha xxx

cassie's therapy video, may 2012

Hiya,

Cassie's therapy tag is a tag I started ages ago. It's based on this video. The task is to fill in 12 likes, 1 love and 8 hates like Cassie in her therapy video. Bold stands for what you must include, the rest is up to you! ;) 
 

Abracadabra, Wow!
I like boys with good intentions and girls who ask questions
I like walking to school every day

I like using my spares effectively (either for sleep or study) 
I like spoken word 
I like when my family leaves me alone for the night

I like listening to songs on repeat (*, * & *)

I like finding new gifs of Miranda Kerr
I like watching Ellen interviews with my favourite celebrities 
I like emailing Zhi Hui & Mama Goose

I like waking without any kind of pain in my body (it feels too good to be true)
I like relatable quotes/images
I like the colour yellow 
I love sleep (long and deep) 
Today I sold bread to the general public 
In some ways, I love everything.
Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular
I like things that I like but I love everything
There’s more choice in like
Cos even the worst things have things you love in them
I don’t know what you mean about things I hate
I hate looking back on life 6 months ago

I hate diagnosis's that you don't agree with

I hate how little I cry these days

I hate year 12
I hate band-aids and long sleeves  
I hate breakdowns without her  
I hate being social, but in a way, it's the only thing I enjoy

I hate concentration problems

I hate my parent's morals and attitudes

I hate this, wow. . .Sorry.

Top 10 girl crushes/inspirations:

 1. Mila Kunis

 

  

2. Carey Mulligan 

 3. Emily Browning

4. Mia Wasikowska

 5. Miranda Kerr

6. Natalie Portman

 

7. Shay Mitchell 

 

8. Taylor Swift

9. Anna Trov

10. Selena Gomez

x x x  Erimentha

miss you.

“Why is it that words like these seem to me so dull and cold? Is it because there is no word tender enough to be your name?” -James Joyce.

Have you ever been scared to say someone's name aloud? People don't use names often. Sometimes names feel like a secret;  forbidden for speech, painful to hear.

We don't say your name aloud these days. I think we're scared it might break the spell of your absence. But it's not for a minute because you're forgotten. You hang in the silence, reside in the stillness.

"To descend into hell is easy. But to return--what work, what a labour it is!" -Virgil.